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Getting your Loved One to Exercise

You have seen it happen over and over again. Your loved one has given exercise a try. He/she feels marvellous and promises to integrate it as part of their weekly schedule. But alas, their resolve weakens, and the excuses begin.

"I don't have the time? I am too old. I've tried it and it doesn't work. What is the point of starting something I know I won't be able to keep up? It's too inconvenient to go workout."

How can you get your loved one motivated enough to stick to it? How can you help?

It is now common knowledge that exercise is a necessary contributor to health and wellness. It has the virtues of being a stress-buster, a health enhancer, and a self-confidence booster. Some well-known physiological benefits of exercise include: lowering muscular tension, promoting the rapid metabolism of excess stress hormones (adrenalin and thyroxin) in the bloodstream, releasing pent-up frustration, enhancing oxygenation of the blood and brain thus improving alertness, stimulating the production of well-being endorphins, increasing energy levels, improving circulation, digestion, and elimination processes, and lowering cholesterol. Regular exercise can also alleviate the symptoms of depression and anxiety and impacts on serious disorders such as manic-depression and schizophrenia.

It appears that the intensity of the exercise is less important than once thought. William Morgan, EdD., director of the sport psychology laboratory at the University of Wisconsin at Madison studied the effect of exercise intensity on the relief symptoms of depression and anxiety. He randomly assigned depressed adult participants to ride stationary bicycles using 40, 60, or 80 percent of their aerobic capacity. His findings indicate a significant drop in depressive symptoms under all thr ee conditions. The same results were evident when anxious patients were tested.

The type of exercise is key. Researchers point out that mood enhancement and tension reduction effects are characteristic of aerobic-type exercise, such as cycling or jogging, but are unseen in exercise that is anaerobic in nature, such as weight training.

The effects of exercise are very dramatic and significant in children. Children who participate in sports earn higher grades and behave better in the classroom, manifest fewer behavioural problems outside of school, drop out less, and attend school on a more regular basis. Furthermore, sports and exercise can provide a healthy forum for youth to learn about communication, commitment, and collaboration with peers.

Children who do not participate in extra-curricular activities are:

57% more likely to drop out of school;

49% more likely to use drugs;

37% more likely to be teen parents;

35% more likely to smoke cigarettes;

27% more likely to be arrested than children who are involved in extra-curricular activities.

Now that you are convinced that exercise is a great idea for you and your family, how do you get a loved one to begin exercising and stick to it?

The DO'S and DONT'S of motivating someone to exercise:

Do not report the statistics about exercise and health.

For instance, learning the fact that sedentary people have twice the incidence of heart disease as moderately active ones, or that inactivity is as much a risk factor for illness as smoking may raise some brows, but will not motivate someone to change. People tend to dissociate from generally frightening or very dramatic information, so that the information fails to make an impact on the individual person hearing it.

Do not share your vision of their healthier body image.

Pointing out to your mate that they would look sexier with a more muscular physique or with washboard abdominals only serves to make that person feel lousy about their current body image, and makes them realize that you do not accept the way they are.

Do not poke fun.

Making fun, jeering, name calling or making sarcastic comments about the person will stimulate their resentment at you and may lower their self-esteem, but not get them to exercise.

Do not use threats.

Making threats will succeed in angering the other person enough to put you to the test and resist what you want them to do.

Do not nag.

Avoid repeating how good exercise will make him/her feel. Instead, share about how it makes you feel great. Try a more reassuring approach like "I love you, let`s take a walk and talk."

Do work on building pleasure and reducing pain.

Humans are slaves to pleasure. Encourage an activity that is fun and enjoyable for that person. You can help by eliminating the more painful aspects associated with exercising. For instance, if your child enjoys swimming but dislikes having to take the bus to and from the pool, volunteer to give him/her a ride.

Do suggest to work out with them.

It appears that when pairs of people are involved in an activity together, they are more likely to stick to their routines longer than those who go at it alone.

Do encourage having fun.

Focus on the process of exercise rather than on the end result. For example, ask if they enjoyed the sport rather who won the game, or how many calories they have burned.

Do encourage fun activities in little doses.

Remember that your goal is not to create an Olympic athlete, but rather to foster a good habit. Too much exercise too soon can result in soreness and injury. Keep in mind that a half an hour a day of consistent walking or gardening is considered regular physical activity, and can be more valuable than doing a step-aerobics class once a week.

Do choose an activity that the two of you enjoy.

Ensure that you are both beginners at this activity. If there is discrepancy in the exercise levels, it may discourage your partner from continuing.

Don't laugh at the first sign of backsliding.

It may take months for someone to establish a routine, so hang in there until that happens.

Do reward the effort not the performance.

Reinforcing an effort or one's commitment builds in the pleasure, and so improves exercise adherence. Focusing on the performance or the end result may be disappointing and discouraging.

Do praise their successes.

Enhancing self-esteem fosters lifetime habits.

© Stephane Bensoussan, M.A., Holistic Psychologist

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