Get
off the Emotional Roller Coaster! Coping with Emotion in a Healthy Way.
Written by Stephane
Bensoussan, M.A., Holistic Psychologist, 2004
Andrea, 38, has always had everything together. She had the perfect
life with a wonderful home, three healthy kids, a loving husband, a
stable job, and a steady flow of income. She prided herself in knowing
that she was always in control of everything, including her emotions.
Her health had always been impeccable - up until 4 weeks ago.
One morning in her shower, she discovered a lump in her right breast.
Concerned, she made an appointment to see her family physician. After
some tests, she was informed that she had stage 2-breast cancer. She
began experiencing a range of emotions that included shock, panic, anger,
worry, and sadness. These emotions persisted and she couldn’t
prevent them from resurfacing. The emotional pillar of strength was
starting to crumble. She realized that maintaining control of things
in her life had always made her feel secure and confident. Her previous
coping ability of taking charge of things did not work at this time.
For the first time in her life she was faced with a problem that rendered
her powerless.
Coping with powerlessness is likely to be the most difficult emotion
that Westerners face. Our culture has instructed us to try our best,
work hard and find a way to make things better, solve our problems and
move ahead in life. Being active and in control is the modus operandi.
As long as life presents challenges that we can DO something about,
we cope relatively well. However, when we are presented with situations
in which we cannot DO anything at all - or worse when we must put our
fate in the hands of someone or something else, our ego defences break
down and we experience a wide range of emotions to cover up the powerlessness
that we feel underneath it all. It seems that we are programmed to be
human doings rather than human beings.
Through the field of psychoneuroimmunology, it is now recognized that
the way an individual experiences emotions directly impacts on her/his
nervous and immune systems. Failure to cope effectively with certain
emotions leads to energetic blockages that may in turn lead to physical
disease. Coping with emotions in a healthy way will free the body, mind
and spirit. Turning to the Eastern Buddhist ideology provide us with
some answers in how to do this.
In this viewpoint, all emotions are recognized as simple messengers.
When a courier service rings our doorbell to deliver a parcel, the deliveryman
wishes us to open the door, greet him with a smile, acknowledge the
reception of the parcel and accept the parcel. Then, the courier is
free to leave. However if you choose not to open the door, the deliveryman
will once again return the next day to try his luck again! Similarly,
if the emotion is denied then it is likely to persist.
Thus, a healthy way to handle an emotion is to acknowledge the emotion
without judgement, welcome the message and graciously accept it. Once
acknowledged and understood, the emotion is released. Let us examine
more closely how this process works.
Acknowledge and Identify
Be aware of how you feel, and how the emotion manifests. The feeling
may express itself as a body symptom (e.g., a tight knot in the throat),
an image (e.g., a painful past memory) or a desire to behave differently
(e.g. wanting to withdraw socially).
Non-judgement
Judging an emotion (e.g. ‘I have nothing to feel sad about’)
very often will cause its suppression. Furthermore, judgement denies
the full acceptance of the self and thus restricts the energetic pathways
of the body. Releasing the need to judge an emotion is key.
Acceptance
Realize that the emotion is there for a reason. Let it be present without
trying to solve it or rationalize it (e.g. ‘I feel really angry
right now. Let me witness this experience’).
Allow the passing emotion to take as much place as it needs to in that
moment. Do not interrupt or judge it. Allow the full intense expression
of this emotion. Remember that emotions are like waves in the oceans:
they build to a peak and then they subside naturally. Release the fear
that the current acute emotion will become your permanent state. Acute
and intense emotions cannot last in the long run.
Observe the dance
Witness the process of the emotional experience. You are actually detached
from the emotion and watching its flow. You may be surprised at how
the emotion ‘shifts’ into another form and feeling (e.g.
Hey, my anger is now changing to hurt… and now I feel sad…
and now I feel ok). Keep watching patiently until you reach a feeling
of sustained calm. There may be several emotions that may come through
that underlie your initial presenting emotion.
Letting go
This stage does not mean accepting defeat; rather it is a powerful spiritual
practice that admits that we are not all knowing and capable of anything.
Letting go implies that we acknowledge the presence of a higher power
and choose to let this force support us. This strategy allows us to
experience peace and feel supported.
Conclusion
Handling emotions in this way is a powerful way of living life and giving
oneself love. In this way, you are truly honouring all of you. This
will surely raise your self-esteem and heighten your level of consciousness.
In order to cultivate this way of processing emotions, it is recommended
to practice a form of mindfulness meditation. This will surely consolidate
all of the above-mentioned principles. Furthermore, it may be fun to
intentionally put yourself in situations where you are faced with powerlessness
(e.g. allowing yourself to get lost in an unfamiliar part of the city)
and work through the resistance of the mind in order to reach a place
of calm. By mastering this ability to cope, you will be better able
to thrive in any difficult life situation.
Exploring your faith and trusting in a higher power can definitely be
invaluable at this time. All of these methods of practice may take a
long time to develop, so be patient with you. If you experience too
much resistance, seek the help of a practitioner trained in psycho-spiritual
therapy.
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Sleep's
healing properties
By William Collinge, M.P.H., Ph.D.
Source:
CNN
(WebMD) -- Overlooking the single most important thing you can do for
your health is easy with all the clamor surrounding various health products
in the marketplace. But good-quality sleep goes far and beyond those
products when it comes to restoring your health. And best of all, sleep
is free.
Organizing your life so you get the highest quality sleep possible is
well worth the effort. And quantity doesn't necessarily equal quality:
You may sleep for many hours, but if your sleep isn't deep enough, or
if your sleep cycle is disturbed, you may still be at greater risk for
illness. A simple way to gauge the quality of your sleep is to see how
refreshed you feel when you wake up.
A matter of hormones
Part of sleep's effect lies in hormones. During deep sleep, the production
of growth hormone is at its peak. Growth hormone speeds the absorption
of nutrients and amino acids into your cells and aids the healing of
tissues throughout your body. The hormone also stimulates your bone
marrow, where your immune system cells are born.
Melatonin, often called the sleep hormone, is also produced during
sleep. This hormone inhibits tumors from growing, prevents viral infections,
stimulates your immune system, increases antibodies in your saliva,
has antioxidant properties and enhances the quality of sleep.
Rhythm and blues
Some studies show the value of maintaining a steady and natural rhythm
in sleep patterns.
Researchers at the University of Toronto Center for Sleep and Chronobiology
are uncovering important insights into how sleep heals. Dr. Harvey Moldofsky
and his colleagues studied the natural rhythm of sleep by interrupting
the sleep of a group of medical students. Over several nights, each
time the students entered a deep-sleep phase, called the "non-REM"
or "delta" phase, the researchers would interfere. After a
few nights of these disruptions, the students developed the classic
symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.
Moldofsky conducted another study examining how the immune system reacts
to sleep deprivation. Researchers examined natural killer cells -- a
component of the immune system that attacks bacteria, viruses and tumors.
During the study, 23 men slept about eight hours the first four nights.
On the fifth night, researchers woke the men up at 3 a.m., giving them
four hours less sleep than usual. This one insult to their sleep pattern
caused the activity of the natural killer cells to decrease by more
than one-fourth the next day.
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Five keys to optimal sleep
Rise and shine. Spending a few minutes in the
early morning sun helps your biological clock align itself with
the cycles of nature. Bright morning light stimulates the release
of serotonin, the hormone of wakefulness, and helps the brain
reduce levels of melatonin, the sleep hormone.
Have your evening meal early. Finish your evening
meal by 6 or 6:30 p.m. so your body's digestive processes can
be at rest when you go to bed. If you need to change your meal
times earlier in the day to do this, then work backward accordingly.
Go to bed at 10 p.m. Your body was designed to sync with
the cycles of nature -- including daylight and darkness -- with
the optimal time for sleep falling between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
If you're in the habit of staying up much later than 10 p.m.,
begin getting up progressively earlier by a few minutes each morning,
over several days. This will make it easier to go to bed earlier
in the evening until you reach your target.
Reduce stimulants. If you find it difficult to
get to sleep around 10 p.m., try cutting stimulants out of your
diet -- particularly caffeine products like coffee, chocolate
and black tea -- even in the morning. These take a long time to
be eliminated from your body, and their effects can linger into
the evening.
Quiet your mind. If your body is tired but your
mind is active, try meditation or prayer. But don't make it hard
work; use a simple and gentle form, such as repetition of a thought
or phrase, or just focus on following your breath in and out.
Relaxation music is another excellent way to soothe an anxious
or active mind.
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The three components of anxiety
